Tuesday, July 18, 2006

What a shame...

Well, I posted once and never came back... until today. I told you, I'm not good at following through, but wow! I thought I'd be better than that!

Life is a struggle and marriage is a struggle and parenting is a struggle and it just goes on. But it is also the most amazing thing ever and so worth every struggle and heartbreak.

We have our house up for sale. Now that can cause a girl some serious stress. I'm tired of waiting. I just want to sell this sucker and get on with life. Of course, there's always something, isn't there? So once the house sells and I think life is back to normal... well, there will be something new. I suppose it is about time that I learned to let go. I'm way too anal for that though. I'm a control freak, I have OCD, call it what you will... it comes down to stress all.the.time! I do it to myself. I know this. I just don't know how to stop it. It is what it is.

How is it that children can give you the greatest joy and the greatest frustration all at the same time? Right now, I can hear their little voices and they are so precious, but then the whining and the fighting starts (again!) and the preciousness is gone and irritation sets in. I love them both with every bit of myself... with more love than I even knew I had to give, but at the same time they can push me to the edge and seriously tempt me to jump! I know I'm not alone in this, but I can't help but wonder why?!

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